Wednesday, August 8, 2007
"You shall not commit adultery" (Exodus 20:14).
"Therefore, putting away lying, let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor, for we are members of one another. Be angry and do not sin, do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil. Let him who stole steal no longer; but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need" (Ephesians 4:25-28).
IDEA: Healthy conflict must be handled according to the rules.
PURPOSE: To help listeners face and deal with conflict in their marriages.
Read Ephesians 4:25-28.
Do you see a sentence that seems strangely out of place?
I. In the middle of a passage on communication, we have an illustration about a thief that illustrates a basic principle in this whole passage.
Paul has stated a principle that we are not the people we used to be; therefore we can’t handle life as we used to handle it. He applies that principle to communication, but he illustrates the principle by talking about a thief who has become a Christian.
In the past, he stole from others. He lived by hurting people. Now he is to stop stealing.
In addition, he is to work to earn his living.
What is more, he is to work at something useful.
He is to work in order to have enough left over to help others.
That is the attitude that should mark out our changed life: instead of being part of the problem, we become part of the solution.
II. In a fair fight, boxers follow certain rules. All is not fair in love and war. We must know the limits.
We need to fight according to the rules.
What are some of the rules?
Don’t attack people; attack problems. Verse 29 reminds us not to let unwholesome talk come out of our mouths, but only what is helpful.
A corrupt word in the Greek is rotten speech–the word was used for fish that had spoiled or wood that was decayed.
Rotten speech often comes when we attack the person and not the problem. Name-calling tears the other person down.
Don’t fight with a horseshoe in your glove, verse 29.
Sometimes boxer would put a small horseshoe in his glove, injuring his opponent.
What is cutting speech? Sarcasm, cutting remarks damage the other person.
When you deal with words that build the other person up, the other person feels that you can be trusted. The conflict doesn’t turn into a barroom brawl.
Pay attention to the referee, verse 30. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God.
Christians are indwelt by the Holy Spirit. When we deliver a low blow or lash out at the other person, He often taps us on the shoulder of our soul and tells us, “That was wrong.”